tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291092843240318891.post3462775323680385425..comments2013-01-13T16:43:55.864-08:00Comments on It is Happy to Love: Real Honesty - Part 2Heidi C Stephenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16685862493740694122noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291092843240318891.post-82170257305588498652010-07-02T14:50:44.708-07:002010-07-02T14:50:44.708-07:00I really like how you said (in reference to being ...I really like how you said (in reference to being bluntly honest when it is unnecessary), "I think that is unloving and self-serving even though it is honest and does reflect my beliefs."<br /><br />It's important to have beliefs! and it's also important to know when (or when not) to share them. <br /><br />Thanks for all the feedback, Dad. and thanks for the acrostic - that is really helpful. I will definitely be thinking about it. :-)Heidi C Stephenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16685862493740694122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3291092843240318891.post-83652359697591558592010-07-02T07:30:09.249-07:002010-07-02T07:30:09.249-07:00As you explore the firewall between honesty and di...As you explore the firewall between honesty and discretion you ask at the end of your blog "What do you think"? and I am reminded of an acronym that has been helpful to me as a general rule of thumb: T.H.I.N.K.<br /><br />T = Is it True?<br />H = Is it Helpful?<br />I = Is it Important?<br />N = Is it Necessary?<br />K = Is it Kind?<br /><br />Of course, this is only a generalization and wisdom is absolutely required for situationally specific application.<br /><br />I have personally run the gammut between full, unfiltered (brutal) honesty and calm, detached discretion. Both have been helpful and hurtful. I agree with your observation that "motivation" is the key differentiator. Am I being self-serving and self-protecting or am I seeking the best of the other individual(s) in the specific circumstance.What is my motive which will ultimately reflect my true heart.<br /><br />Is it helpful to withold honesty from an employee who is about to lose their job because of poor performance yet they aren't aware because I haven't shared that with them? I don't think so. It would seem more loving to be brutally honest with them so they could have a real opportunity to address their precarious situation. Likewise, is it kind to be blunt and lacking discretion as I blast friends or family on matters of personal preference? I think that is unloving and self-serving even though it is honest and does reflect my beliefs. <br /><br />As your blog indicates, perhaps honesty and discretion are better seen as co-equals rather than co-competitors in a winner-take-all approach. <br /><br />Thanks for caring about these concepts. It's so refreshing to watch you in pursuit of truth!jcnexushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17967861777978885447noreply@blogger.com