Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Walking as a Warrior

My year learning to be a Warrior has been a good one.

A GREAT one.

But the battle is tough.

My last post was about Playing it Hurt. I said it was time to start playing hurt, and by that I meant that I no longer wanted my fears to hold me back from getting in the game. The game of life, of relationships, of passions, or of my goals.

So, although I stopped writing about it for awhile, I DID get back in the game.

I've faced alot of fears this year - especially in the first six months of 2011. One of the biggest was that I worked up the nerve and courage to take an audition prep class, take a voice lesson and prepare for an audition into the Pacific Chorale - a professional Chorale whose concerts I have attended through the years.

I was so nervous - but I went. I followed through.

I tried.

And when I walked out of that audition, I had NO idea if I had a chance or not. But I was elated because I tried and fear had not won.

To me, that was the victory!

A week later, I received a voicemail saying that I had been accepted into the Chorale. Tears from out of the hidden places of heart lept out of my eyes - I kept thinking, "What if I hadn't tried? What if I kept listening to my fear?"
That is one example (and one of the bigger ones) of how I am allowing God to help me fight my fears.

But I am also learning that being a Warrior doesn't just mean facing fears.

It also means having vision.

And THAT is what I have been seeking for these last few months.

I know my purpose is to serve my King.

"But what, oh King, do you desire from me? Put vision into my soul of Your purposes for me, and give me the strength and character of heart to follow after that vision."

This is my prayer as I continue to seek to be His warrior.

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