Words. Friendship. Rest.

I seem to have run out of words the past couple days.

I not only seem to be at a loss of words to put on this blog but also at a loss of words flying around at rapid speed in my head.

And I am mucho happy about the latter.

On Friday, I wrote about striving and the constant motions of words and questions whirring around in my head. That night, I headed up to my best friend’s house in Northridge. We actually spent the weekend at her parent’s house; a place which I have come to know as my personal retreat getaway in the last couple years.

My weekend was FULL of words. What would you expect if you hadn’t seen your best friend for three months because she had been out-of-state??

Words exchanged across a tiny wooden table in the corner at Starbucks.

Words exchanged in the shady corner of the backyard with a tissue in hand and tears running out the corners of my eyes.

Words shared a foot across from each other as we shared the bed and talked about the things best friends talk about late at night. More words shared even with our backs turned because we were trying to sleep but we still had more to say.

Words in the kitchen while making our snacks.

Words of exclamation while watching Planet Earth videos.

Words while driving. Words while resting. Words while laughing.

It felt SO good.

My friend and I? Well, we both do words well!

The combination of the flowing of words and the receiving of words, rest and play, productivity and pampering has resulted in some of the most mentally peaceful days I have had in a long time.

The lightening speed of words zipping around in my head isn’t really occurring right now. In fact, I have actually caught myself a couple times in the past few days not thinking about anything.

I would all of a sudden realize, “Oh my gosh! I was just not thinking about anything!”

THAT hasn’t happened in a long time. And it felt good.

I still have a lot of the same questions that I have been asking myself. They aren’t all answered. But I don’t feel so panicked about needing having the answers all NOW. I will continue to search (especially from the Lord) and the answers will come.

But the main thing that this weekend of words, friendship and rest showed me was that the main thing is Jesus.

It is all about KNOWING JESUS.

I knew that. But I needed those three things (words, friendship, and rest) to remind me of that and to refresh my soul.


And to my dear friend and her lovely mom and wonderful family, thank you SO much!

She's Not Impressed.

With my blue, plastic cup in hand, I walk down the long aisle past all the grey cubicles and head towards the break room.

Outwardly, it looks like I am just thirsty and want some more water. And that is partly true. Inwardly, however, I am processing.

As I walk the long hallway, I am thinking about a recent conversation I had with an old friend and I am trying to figure out why the remembrance of that conversation is sweeping over me with a feeling of total satisfaction and rest.

I open the door to the break room and I smile at the lady eating her salad. I glance over at the group of people making small talk at the far table.

I head across the room to the water cooler and I can feel my inner self getting closer and closer to understanding the source of my satisfaction.

I position my cup under the water nozzle and tip the black-colored lever down. I watch as the water flows into my cup.

As the cup gets to be about halfway full, it comes to me.

Resolution! I finally know why I feel so satisfied in remembering my time with my friend.

It was because….

She wasn’t impressed by me.

What? I was surprised to realize that this was the reason for my satisfaction.

It’s true, I thought. She doesn’t seem impressed by me. She doesn’t think I’m oh-so-holy and she doesn’t want to be just like me. Okay.

But she LIKES me. She likes me for who I am. She enjoyed our time together just as much as I enjoyed it.

I don’t feel the need to try to impress her in the next facebook message I send her. Or in my actions the next time I see her.

I can just be me.

No pressure to please. No expectations to fulfill.

Just mutual enjoyment of one another. Admiration for one another. Receiving from each other.

Walking out of the office and heading towards a break room table outside. Sitting under some beautiful trees and sipping my water.

Relaxed.

Content.

Satisfied.

An hour of work left to go and then the weekend is mine to enjoy.

I’m starting the weekend off tonight by meeting a friend of my husband’s and his wife over dinner.

And now, after my afternoon epiphany, I am much more excited to meet these new friends than I was earlier because now I know I don’t have to go to impress.

I just have to go and enjoy.


So to my friend: Thank You!