Perfect Love.

You see the tall, leafy tree.

You see the flowers blooming on the bush.

You see the ivy creeping farther and farther up the old building.

What holds these plants in place?

The Roots.

Where do these plants originate from?

The Seed.

..........

You feel the stress of an impending occasion.

You feel the anger at other people's choices.

You carry the burden of other individual's responsibilities.

What keeps the anxiety-producing burdens attached to you?

The Roots of Bondage.

What produced these anxiety-producing burdens that are held to you by the roots of bondage?

The Seed of Fear.

Out of the seed of fear comes destructive habits or patterns of thinking, anxiety, anger, and a host of other burdens that grow and attach themselves to your heart through the entangling roots of bondage.

These roots can feel so strong and powerful that you feel you will never have any freedom from the burdens that they keep you attached to.

In all your efforts of strength, you try to release your burdens, forget your anxieties, and calm your anger. But just as a weed grows back wtih more vengence when only the portion above ground is cut, your burdens quickly grow back and begin to strangle your hope for peace.

You know now that the only way to be released from these burdens is to completely uproot these roots of bondage that grew from the seed of fear.

You go to work at tearing out these roots only to find that you have made no significant progress, you are exhausted and left more vulnerable, and your burdens now seem even heavier to carry.

You are then handed two tools to help you rip out these strong roots. You unfold two scraps of paper and read these two phrases:

"The truth shall set you free..."

"Perfect love casts out all fear..."

You sit and stare at these two phrases. How can these familiar words work together in such a way to free you from these roots of bondage?

As you sit, the Holy Spirit give you this answer, "You must know this truth: That your burdens, anxieties, and the theft of your joy is being grown from the seed of fear. And you must know what specific fear it is. Let me reveal truth to you in order to make you free. I will show you the specific seed of fear that has been planted in your heart."

You allow Him to show you, and you are amazed to find that all the burdens you are carrying are growing from this specific fear - a fear you didn't realize you held!

You say to Him, "Holy Spirit, I had no idea this fear was in my heart. How do I uproot this fear when the roots of bondage are so strong?"

And He says back to you, "You can't do anything. You see, only perfect love casts out fear, and in your humanity you are far from perfect. You must trust Jesus with this fear. His love is perfect and He can provide real healing. But, be warned, although His healing is complete it is not devoid of pain. Are you willing to entrust your healing from this fear to His perfect love and His perfect methods?"

That is where your free will comes in; this is where you must decide to allow Him to heal you.

..........

That is what I must decide.

A specific fear was revealed to my heart today. And I desire to be freed from these roots of bondage that keep me carrying these burdens.

Now it comes down to surrender.

And so this is the earnest prayer of my heart,

"Lord Jesus, help me to trust You. You have called me to walk in victory over fear and live a life victoriously with joy! I give You this fear and I surrender my desire to avoid pain. I trust in Your perfect love and your perfect healing."

The Belt of Truth.

It happened.

The reason I was afraid to write my OneWord2011 post became reality and the fear I felt over publicly declaring the word "Warrior" over myself for 2011 took shape.

Doubt leading to defeat.

I finally wrote my OneWord post on Thursday; I was excited to move forward! Friday came - and it was awful. I felt utterly defeated. Everything in my emotional and spiritual self felt unable to cope with some new life circumstances, sudden sadness, and an increasing awareness of my own insecurities.

I felt like the exact opposite of a Warrior.

And it was through this experience on Friday that I have, once again, become increasingly aware of the fact that I have an enemy.

A few days in retrospect, it is obvious that instantly after I declared my intention to become a more focused and equipped warrior for the Kingdom of Heaven, the kingdom of darkness sent a little more attack my way, saying...

"Scare her off this journey before she builds up strength in Him. Hit her when she's unsuspecting and weak."

It was in this day-long battle that I realized the major importance of the weapon of Truth. Just as Ephesians 6:14 says,

"Stand, therefore, having girded your waist with Truth...."

Though it took me until the very end of that day to obtain any joy, I was able to at least be aware throughout the day that I was experiencing an inundation of lies and emotions. Therefore, I searched for truth and asked for God's strength to not let myself dwell in the lies.

So I am learning this:

A strong warrior must know the tactics of their enemy. And they must know what weapons to use as their defense.

I know that our King has given His warriors many weapons with which to fight, but currently, He is teaching this warrior-in-training the importance of

The Belt of Truth.

My OneWord2011.

"Warrior"

It seems a bit dramatic.

"Health" seems a little more practical, a little more sensible, and a little more normal.

And up until a few hours before we rang in the New Year, "Health" was going to be my One Word motto for the year.

But while celebrating with my family on New Year's Eve, my dad, sister, and I listened to music in a corner of my parent's house. And as I sat and listened, the songs that compared the Christian life to war began to stir my spirit.

It wasn't the first time that themes of war had begun to tug at me in December. During the last two weeks of the year, I saw the movies, "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" and "Legend of the Owls." I loved both movies because they held so much symbolism and I had enjoyed pondering what drew me so strongly to the noble heroes of each movie.

Also, during the last week of December, my husband began to read a book that has been sitting on our shelf for over a year - "Battle Ready" by Steve Farrar. Also in that week, I had read some excerpts from my parents copy of "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge in which he often compares the Christian journey to battle.

So, as I sat and listened to these inspiring songs, I realized that all the recent media I had been exposed to was beginning to point to a specific direction.

I casually mentioned this to my dad and he said, "Well, maybe God's trying to show you something."

I smiled and tried to laugh it off. Themes of battles and war was the last direction I desired to take for this upcoming year. Especially after completing a year in which my One Word was "Healing."

However, the more I pondered the stirrings in my heart and the more I willingly opened my heart to asking God if He was leading those stirrings, the more I couldn't get away from the word, "Warrior."

Lord?! Me?? A Warrior?

But I'm a princess!

A gentle, golden-haired, dress-wearing, encourage-the-knight-and-send-him-off-to-battle-with-a-kiss princess!

Lord, You know how much fear I still hold in my heart, don't You? Most of the time, I don't act anything like a fearless warrior.

Are You sure??

I wrestled with these thoughts. Then I began to dwell upon the characteristics of a warrior. As I brainstormed a list of some of the trademarks a warrior is known for, my heart began to understand.

The list grew long but it included trademarks such as:

Courage

Wounds

Strength

Vision

Boldness

Leader.

As the list began to grow, I began to realize, "THIS is what He wants to do in me! This is what He wants to develop me into!"

And when I understood, I was overwhelmed.

And Excited.

This is what I want.

But this is what I am afraid of.

However, I am confident of this, that He did not give me a spirit of fear but one of boldness and a sound mind. I believe that He will finish the work that He has started in me and that He will show how His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

Here we go, 2011! Let's get started on this journey!

To find out what other bloggers are choosing as their word for 2011 click here!

Do YOU have any themes or words that you are inspired to follow after this year?

The New Year

It's taken me a few days to get settled into this New Year.

I spent the week before New Year's Day getting ready for 2011 with some journaling, reflecting, and planning.

I had chosen my word for OneWord2011 and I was excited about it.

And hours before the clock hit midnight, I felt God start stirring things up and changing things in my heart as I listened to some music at my family's gathering.

And it has taken me 5 days so far to get re-adjusted to my vision for this year. Or should I say, I have been re-adjusting to what I believe God's vision is for me this year.

I've been hesitating writing my post on what the One Word is that I believe God is calling me to for this year because when I write it down, there is no going back.

This word isn't what I expected but I know it's what I need.


Stay tuned.... :-)

Permission to Myself.

Just RELAX, Heidi.

It's OK.

Just relax, and watch the rain outside your windows pouring down from the gray sky.

Just relax. Enjoy the sound of the rain hitting your roof as you sit on the couch.

Take in the scent of the cinnamon candle on your coffee table.

Allow yourself to stare at your red-and-green glowing Christmas tree. Remember where you bought each ornament. Chuckle at the memory of how you and Adam came to decide on a theme for your Christmas tree.

Notice the whir of the washing machine and dryer in the laundry room. Let it remind you that, even on your day off work, you have still accomplished some chores. Let that be a comfort to your mind which seems to think that you need to constantly be accomplishing something.

But please, do not let chores consume this day that was set aside for relaxing.

Heidi, your identity is not in how busy you are or how much you can accomplish.

It is okay to rest. It is okay to sit and to simply enjoy.

A day like this is so rare for you, Heidi. Don't waste it by tring to accomplish everything you can possbily think of.

Instead, find pleasure in the soft jazz Christmas music streaming over Pandora and enjoy the taste of your peppermint tea.

Do you want to close your eyes for a few moments and just half-sleep and half-listen to the music and the rain?

That's a lovely idea - go ahead,

it's ok.

A Gathering of November Blogs...

Happy Sunday Everyone!

I'm enjoying a nice quiet day with the Christmas tree glowing, the rain falling outside, a warm house with chores slowly getting done, an awesome workout this morning, and a sweet husband to hang out with.

I'm also getting a chance to read some good blogs...

One of the bloggers I follow, Elizabeth Esther, hosts a gathering of bloggers and their writings one Saturday out of every month. Here at this link, bloggers have all posted their favorite piece of their own writing from the month of the November. Click on over! It's a great chance to be exposed to lots of different blogs, topics, and writing styles!

Have fun exploring!

And enjoy your Sunday!

Like A Floating Leaf.

Have you ever watched an autumn leaf fall off a tree?

Each leaf's descent is different. It's transition from being attached to the tree to it's destination of lying on the ground is a space of unknown.

There are times when the air is still and a leaf falls rather directly from the tree to the ground.

There are other times when the wind is strong and from the moment the leaf becomes unattached to the tree to the moment it finally touches the ground, it is caught in a swirling journey.

It is tossed by the wind. It is sent high into the air and then it starts to drift downward only to be caught again in a gust that swirls it in circles. The leaf is taken far from the tree and then, eventually, it lands on the ground in a new location as the wind begins to subside.

But it does eventually land.

Transitions can be difficult, can't they?

Whether they are short or long periods of time, the feeling of being "unattached" to something or someone and to have not yet arrived to solid ground or to a solid understanding can feel confusing as if you are being carelessly tossed by the wind.

But the wind that blows upon our lives is NOT careless.

Jesus said in John 3:8 that, "The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from or where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Holy Spirit."

The Holy Spirit knows how He is guiding your transitions through these winds of change. He knows why He picked that moment to release you from what you were attached to and He knows where He is taking you next. His guiding can be mysterious and unpredictable, like a swirling wind, but it is also purposeful and trustworthy.

The next time you have the opportunity, watch a leaf take it's journey.

Notice the contentment in it's travel. Notice the willingness that it embodies in each moment.

It is not fighting the wind. It is not resisting each sway of it's journey.

It floats, it yields, and it swirls with beauty. It gives joy to those that watch it's graceful motion.

The leaf does nothing except to yield. And then it simply rests and floats on the wind.

Are we willing to yield to the Holy Spirit as He brings us through transition? Let's trust that He knows where He is blowing the wind in our lives and let's make it our delight to enjoy each moment of the journey.



This post was inspired by a conversation that a friend and I had when she met me during my lunch break a few weeks ago. As we were talking about the transitions we find ourselves in and how we were trying to deal with them, we watched the leaves fall from the trees around us and we felt God speak to us.

What about YOU? Are YOU experiencing any transition?