With my blue, plastic cup in hand, I walk down the long aisle past all the grey cubicles and head towards the break room.
Outwardly, it looks like I am just thirsty and want some more water. And that is partly true. Inwardly, however, I am processing.
As I walk the long hallway, I am thinking about a recent conversation I had with an old friend and I am trying to figure out why the remembrance of that conversation is sweeping over me with a feeling of total satisfaction and rest.
I open the door to the break room and I smile at the lady eating her salad. I glance over at the group of people making small talk at the far table.
I head across the room to the water cooler and I can feel my inner self getting closer and closer to understanding the source of my satisfaction.
I position my cup under the water nozzle and tip the black-colored lever down. I watch as the water flows into my cup.
As the cup gets to be about halfway full, it comes to me.
Resolution! I finally know why I feel so satisfied in remembering my time with my friend.
It was because….
She wasn’t impressed by me.
What? I was surprised to realize that this was the reason for my satisfaction.
It’s true, I thought. She doesn’t seem impressed by me. She doesn’t think I’m oh-so-holy and she doesn’t want to be just like me. Okay.
But she LIKES me. She likes me for who I am. She enjoyed our time together just as much as I enjoyed it.
I don’t feel the need to try to impress her in the next facebook message I send her. Or in my actions the next time I see her.
I can just be me.
No pressure to please. No expectations to fulfill.
Just mutual enjoyment of one another. Admiration for one another. Receiving from each other.
Walking out of the office and heading towards a break room table outside. Sitting under some beautiful trees and sipping my water.
An hour of work left to go and then the weekend is mine to enjoy.
I’m starting the weekend off tonight by meeting a friend of my husband’s and his wife over dinner.
And now, after my afternoon epiphany, I am much more excited to meet these new friends than I was earlier because now I know I don’t have to go to impress.
I just have to go and enjoy.
So to my friend: Thank You!