This is the fourth post of the LASTS series.
For the first post, click here.
For the second post, click here.
For the third post, click here.
Three years ago today, I was single.
Well, I had a fiance. But my name was still Heidi Choate - unmarried. And for all practical purposes, I could have remained Heidi Choate for a longer period of time with the legal right to do so.
But there was no way this girl was gonna wait another day to marry Adam Mark Stephen.
Three years ago today, I wasn't focused on the "last"-ness of that day. I wasn't really thinking of how it was my last day to bear the name Choate. I don't remember thinking too much of what I wouldn't be able to do since it was the last day of my singleness. I didn't have any anxious thoughts about how it was the last day of being a virgin. I didn't have any unwavering thoughts about how it was the last day for me to consider all my "choices" of men out there in the world.
None of that was on my mind.
All I could really think of were the FIRSTS up ahead.
That night was the first night I was finally able to give my husband-to-be a box of letters that I had prayed over and written to him for years before I even knew who he was.
That night was the first night I was able to practice saying my vows.
That night, all I could think about was how the next day, for the first time, I was going to fully give myself - heart, body, and soul - to one man. For the rest.of.my.life.
And as I lay with curlers in my hair in my old bedroom in my parents house for one last time as an unmarried woman, I fell asleep with full peace of what my day of firsts would bring.
On that LAST day, August 3rd, 2007, I thought I knew what it was to be in love. But I learned on my day of FIRSTS, August 4th 2007, how much more it was possible for my heart to love. And my heart has been learning ever since.
As I look back on my last day before I said "I do," it seems like the love I had in my heart for my fiance was a only a crush in comparison to the love I now have in my heart for my husband after three-years-minus-one-day of marriage.
And I am so grateful that this journey gets to continue. Grateful that I get to keep learning to love. Grateful that I get to keep learning how to be loved.
I am so happy that I get to love you, Adam Stephen. Thank you for almost-three wonderful years!!!