My heart felt heavy today.
My body and mind were much better than yesterday thanks to more proactive nutrition and proper sleep (Like I said in yesterday's post, I promised to learn from my previous days mistakes)
But my heart was grieved. It was burdened.
I thought I knew why but I kept pushing that reason out of my mind.
Really, Heidi, a fictional movie? That was last night, it is early afternoon the next day! Those weren’t even real people or a factual story!
But there’s no getting around it. The movie was the reason for my heaviness of heart.
It wasn’t that I was wrapped up in the fictional storyline or characters of the movie. It was what the movie represented. Truth and Reality. While that specific story may not have happened, many many others just like it have.
Curiosity leading to devastation.
Selfish desires and Lust.
I don’t want to believe that stuff is true. I don’t want to believe those hurts exist. I want to wish those pains away. Why? Because I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to help.
When my eyes are opened like that, it makes my heart ache.
I know that part of this is the process of God showing me the hurts in the world. Showing me reality. It is something I want to run from but I can’t turn off real life like I can turn off a DVD.
Like I wrote about before, love is mixed with pain. I love people. I love that every person has inherent worth because they were created in the image of God. And I hate when that worth is unrightly and unjustly taken from them.
I pray that God will show me how to use my compassion in a useful way and I pray that I won't run if it hurts.
By the way, the movie was The Preacher’s Kid. Excellent movie, compelling story, and beautiful ending. In my opinion, though, a little too heavy for those under high school age.